There was a meme going around last week: what would your red carpet look be with no budget, no limits. Aha! I thought, I have a pinterest board that answers this very question!
Actually, I have two pinterest boards. One for “I wish” and one for “I can.”
Up until 5 years ago, I had a very specific look – my wardrobe always looked good with a blazer, I would often be wearing a scarf, and turtlenecks and crew necks were my staples. I was working in sales, often 7 days a week, and the blazer and scarf in my car were often pressed into use hiding the fact I had dared leave the house in something casual on a weekend when I got a call to meet a client. Oops.
Getting out of that job, I was ecstatic that I could finally wear my tshirt collection without waiting for the phone to ring. I was moving to New England, I could go back to wearing turtlenecks 6 months a year without getting looks. And that first spring and summer, I learned that was true…mostly. But there were days that putting on a tshirt gave me an anxiety attack. As fall rolled around, collared shirts were now out, let alone anything with cuffs. And a turtleneck, the staple of my winter wardrobe, would reduce me to tears.
My brain chemistry had gotten screwed up. I am told that it is, in part, a side effect of some of my other medications, but it was also depression and anxiety over my living situation at the time, and the worsening US political climate. Living with uncertainty tipped my anxiety disorder from “occasionally there” to a party of my daily life, that needs to be taken into account in everything I do.
Over the last 5 years, I’ve lost most non-natural fibers that are not in a blend, any neckline within 2 inches of my neck, and all cuffs and collars. In a wheelchair now, I’ve lost my beloved blazers, anything with a waist seam, and wearing dresses without leggings. This pandemic has seen me totally revamp my wardrobe, because I am not going to need so much of it ever again.
Many of the couture looks that I adore are no longer available to me, because even in my wildest dreams…they would be absolute disasters on a red carpet. But they’re fantastic to look at and remind me of university where a few of us would dissect what was coming out of the big houses for Spring and Fall, where we made time during Paris & London & New York to see what Vogue was covering, and what was trending and what was exciting. They’re inspirational, and for other people.
So I have another pinterest board, of things that I can wear, cuts and colors and patterns that I could, if money or time were no object, look fantastic in, even in my wheelchair. And that’s the one I tend to add to more often. I’ve learned to love what I can do, and to work with the limitations I’ve got. And it can be done.
SFF Style 